Friday, October 26, 2007

Week 8 Bro's and Hoe's

England's Rugby World Cup winning-captain Martin Johnson and Chelsea striker Didier Drogba

This may seem a bit rushed - mainly because it is. It's time for me to go get drunk in Albany for Halloween weekend and considering most of my audience will be there and can ask me questions then, this can only be so important.

Let me first start off by saying my Dolphins are employing one of the stupidest men in all of football and it is absolutely astounding that a man can make it this far in life and be this rich while lacking what I consider to be very basic human knowledge. During an interview this week, Channing Crowder, the Dolphins now-starting middle linebacker claimed that once he landed in London he, for the first time, realized that people in England speak English! Yes, English folks, it's only in the name of the country. Did you not attend a single U.S history class or even go to school for one day in your life? But hold on, it didn't end there. To quote Crowder, "I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name."

Take a minute. Just think about how many things are wrong with that statement. There is nothing further to be said here - he embarrassed himself enough.

Now onto my Week 8 Picks...

Kevin Jones - he's got the gig all to himself and the Bears D has been shaky
Bernard Berrian/Desmond Clark/Greg Olsen - It almost looked as if Griese showed something at the end of last week, let it continue against Detroit
Any and all Steelers - it is Cinci's D after all; even Hines Ward will make a cameo
Lendale White - the guy just has a knack for finding the end zone
Vince Young - can he disprove the Madden curse? Please let it end
All Rams skill positions (even Drew Bennet) - the Browns D should be ashamed of itself; welcome back Steven Jackson!
Brandon Jacobs - Dolphins are worst in the league against the rush; here's to hoping Jacobs knocks some sense into Crowder
Eli/Plaxico/Toomer - when you sign Lance Shulters to start at safety based on the fact that he already has a passport, it's not good
Donovan McNabb and Kevin Curtis - Westbrook will get stuffed forcing the Eagles to fly
Purple Jesus - he's just the man
Troy Williamson - someone has to catch the ball; he showed some potential last week to explain why he was drafted in the first round
Kellen Clemens - he'll make it into this game by halftime much to the joy of Jets fans
Coles/Cotchery - Buffalo hasn't really figured out how to play D yet
Thomas Jones - look above; this is also the week he finds the end zone
All Buffalo Bills sans the defense - this will no low scoring affair; without Vilma it will only get worse for the Jets
LDT - the wheels are about to fall off in Houston
Chris Chambers - he knew the offense and he's coming out with a bang
Antonio Gates - having Chambers and Jackson will relieve a lot of his pressure
Kevin Walter - don't know how he does it, but he's been providing great numbers in Andre's absence
Vernon Davis/Ashley Lelie - I love this freak show and Lelie got a vote of confidence from Nolan after his 47 yard catch last week
Deshawyn Wynn - Packers will have to learn how to run teh ball at some point in order to be successful; who better to learn against than the Broncos
MJD and Fred Taylor - Jones-Drew will playand the Jags will be forced to hand-on a ton with Gray as their QB
Reggie Bush - a la Thomas Jones, this is the week he finds the end zone
Joe Addai/Kenton Keith - they'll kill Carolina by enough that both backs will have value
Any and all Patriots (except one) - they will all be here until proven otherwise; I don't care how well the 'Skins D has played this year - this team is a machine

Kenny Watson/Rudi Johnson - I doubt Rudi plays and Pitt stuffs the run
Lamont Jordan and co. - Tennessee is tough up front and these backs are not that good
Cleo Lemon - What Osi and Strahan are going to do to this man across the pond is gonna get illegal
Marty Booker/Derek Hagan - hard to complete passes as you're getting sacked
Brian Westbrook - Minny stops the run with ease, the only hope is catching balls out of the backfield
Carson Palmer - just a feeling, maybe he'll have bad memories of Pittsburgh almost ending his career
Ahman Green - not fully healthy and old... not a good combination
Anyone involved in the Jacksonville passing game - it'll be a tough 4 weeks without Garrard
Laurence Maroney - here he is, Washington will get beat over the top
Clinton Portis - He'll take a pounding jsut as every other RB has from the Pats
Santana Moss/Chris Cooley - Moss doesn't get going this week; maybe he'll redeem himself come fantasy playoff time
Brett Favre - Champ is supposed to start and you beat Denver by running
Greg Jennings/Donald Driver - see above
Frank Gore - too nicked up to be effective; maybe the NO D shows up this week
Cedric Benson - he'll always be here regardless of the matchup

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